Aug 16th - 31st: Back to Taos Post Right Hip Surgeries
Daily-ish Updates
- Day 12 of Recovery - Aug 16th: Coming Home to Taos
- Day 13 - Aug 17th: Puppy Reunions and First Showers
- Day 14 - Aug 18th: Settling Into a New Rhythm
- Day 15 - Aug 19th: Nerve Pain and New Practices
- Day 16 - Aug 20th: Balancing Rest, Advocacy, and Independence
- Day 17–18 – Aug 21–22: Managing Pain, Navigating Care, and Letting Go
- On the Horizon
It was a whirlwind getting ready to leave Denver. We had a really great final evening out on the deck, ending with a bat circling above the house — so cool! We were exhausted, and I slept really well before waking up around 7 for final packing.
Mom stocked us up on some of our new favorite non-alcoholic drinks (I love a special happy hour beverage!). Patrick made smoothies and started loading the car while I got myself together. Packing took much longer than expected — I had an overwhelming amount of stuff between what I originally brought and what I acquired in Denver. Between fun shopping with Mom and the many Amazon orders after surgery 1 and 2, our car was stuffed. Since we don’t get delivery in Taos, it felt smart to bring it all back rather than deal with the post office. Packing to come here feels like a lifetime ago!
TMI but big news: as of my last night in Denver, I’m finally having some normal-ish BMs post-surgery 2.
The Drive: Getting comfortable is still tough — sitting with my legs down for too long and the seat support are both challenges. Pat and Mom set me up with options: the front seat, or lying down in the back with my legs stretched out. I started in the front, was uncomfortable within an hour, and luckily slept most of the way. I stayed awake for a stop at the accident site to leave fresh flowers, and for Thai food at Mrs. Rios in San Luis (cannot recommend highly enough!), then slept again until home.
Arrival: I was so ready to get my legs up and lay down. Walking into a spotless house (our sitter also deep-cleaned) was amazing, and she even baked me a carrot cake — so thoughtful! Patrick unloaded while I lay in bed with ice and snuggled with our kitty.
Nerve Block Removal: Removing the nerve block was easier than expected. The tape hurt and left some raw skin, but I didn’t even feel the tube when Patrick pulled it out. (Photos of the contraption here.)
We ended the evening resting and snuggling in bed, so happy to be home.
Hitting the road!
First Night: I felt like I slept really well, even though my watch only logged 5.75 hours. Pain is still intense, so I’m waking up every two hours to stay on top of meds. Our sweet kitty made sure I was never alone — each time I woke up she was curled on or near my chest. I also did a round in the CPM machine during the night, which helped with stiffness from the drive. I woke up excited to see our doggies!
Puppy Reunion: Patrick left early to pick up the dogs from their boarding spot in Eagle’s Nest. It was a short solo test for me at home — I used a backpack to carry things between rooms without losing balance. The reunion at 11 was wonderful. My new Costco lap pillow worked perfectly to keep the pups off my hip while still making space for kisses and cuddles.
After a long nap, I treated myself to cake in my favorite chair by the window. Bliss.
Later, I managed my first real shower since surgery 2. It took some setup but went smoothly, and afterward I got to see my incision for the first time — about 6 inches long, right along the bikini line. Healing looks good!
Patrick and I did some unpacking (the big suitcases are handled), then mostly relaxed and decompressed. Dinner was easy and delicious — enchiladas Patrick had prepped before Denver. We ended the day tired but relieved, grateful to be home.
This morning I’m feeling about the same pain-wise but slept fairly well, minus Umi (our kitty) going wild at 6 am by climbing the curtains above our heads. She’s mad we won’t let her in the closet!
Patrick and I are settling into a rhythm that feels good. At my 6 am med alarm, I put the protector pillow over me to prepare for morning dog chaos. Sure enough, when they woke up at 6:30 they were calmer than usual, and I felt safer with the pillow. We also started a shared note where I can list my regular needs and one-off requests. First thing this morning, Patrick made coffee and fed the dogs, then brought me water, ice, electrolytes, my humidifier, coffee, and Miralax. He’s so caring — I’m lucky.
Reading made me drowsy again this morning, so I think it’s just how I am right now. Lots of naps (and rest in general) are one of my main job these days.
This afternoon I start PT, and we’re also hoping for news on the lawsuit. More to come!
Physical Therapy: Yesterday’s PT session was mostly a review of my surgery paperwork and how I’m feeling. I despise pain scales and diagrams of where the pain is located! I understand their value for tracking, but also their flaws (from my previous healthcare QI work lens).
We went through some exercises I’ll be working on daily: ankle pumps, glute squeezes, engaging pelvic floor and low abs, and standing right leg hamstring curls. We also tried some nerve glides, which lit up a new and excruciating pain pattern. My thigh is mostly numb, but certain movements — and sometimes no movement at all — trigger shooting, burning, electric sensations down the outer thigh, right where my dad inspired buffalo tattoo is. Right now it’s nearly impossible for me to lean or reach over my left side… as if I needed more limitations.
I’ll return to PT Thursday and twice a week for the foreseeable future, envisioning less pain and more strength in my near future. We got this!
PT side note: Having two surgeries with different, overlapping restrictions and structured PT protocols is confusing. Thankfully, I have my surgery #1 telemed follow-up tomorrow so we can clarify how to manage that alongside the new nerve pain.
Last Night: Going to bed was rough — I had a full breakdown before finally falling asleep. Then I slept like a rock, minus the regular med interruptions. Honestly, I could use more crying and more sleeping… couldn’t we all? I think my body is catching up with the emotional weight of the past few weeks… or is it years?
Today: The day flew by. I keep learning (again and again) that I need to move intentionally and at the pace that feels safe — which means giving myself more time for everything.
My daily intention reminder on Insight Timer is: “pause, breathe, then move — and most importantly, rest and heal.” It reminds me of when I used to write similar notes on my assistive devices back in late 2022 and early 2023.
This morning I also started a new practice from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. A dear friend gifted me the book right after the accident, and on my last night out in Taos before surgery the book came up with another friend. I explained my struggle getting started and they recommended: “Just do the daily pages.” So today, I tried it — three pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling. I liked it! I think it might help declutter my mind and process everything that has happened (and continues to happen).
Appointments: By mid-morning, it was time to leave for an 11 am appointment at Taos Orthopedic. I didn’t even realize that’s what I was moving toward — I just meandered through freshening up and organizing meds until it was suddenly time to go.
The visit was for surgery #1 follow-up and wound care. My sutures were removed (I was ready for those to come out!), and healing looks good. We made a plan for next steps — though, in true Taos fashion, the system was down so I’ll need to call back to schedule. While I was inside, Patrick ran to Walgreens for my much-needed prescription refills and made it back in time to join the appointment.
Our schedule was tight afterward, and I ended up having to tag along for another errand. Sitting in the car without planning for it was really tough in the amount of pain I’m in — a good reminder of how important pre-planning is for me right now. These moments are teaching me to advocate for myself more clearly, even in small day-to-day logistics.
Afternoon & Evening: By the time we got home I was so ready for food, meds, and a nap. This pain feels inescapable.
I had therapy scheduled for 3, but since I didn’t eat or medicate until nearly 2, we pushed. I’m grateful for her understanding — and for the permission to honor what I need. I ended up sleeping from 2:30-5.
Patrick is at volleyball tonight, but he set me up with everything: a thermos of leftover curry for dinner, a cooler by the bed with two canned drinks and an ice pack. I’m propped up with my new back support pillow (highly recommend!) and icing.
Tomorrow is a new day. I’m grateful to have what I need tonight, and hopeful for more strength tomorrow.
Early Morning: I woke up very early with racing thoughts and, true to form, found myself adding to my Trello lists in the wee hours. (I’ve used Trello for years and LOVE it!) After another short stretch of sleep, the dogs cheerfully woke us up for breakfast, as they like to do.
With my morning coffee I did my second day of morning pages — free writing a few stream-of-consciousness pages. I think they’re already helping me start the day with a brighter perspective and a clearer head. In just two days, I’m noticing themes I might want to tag in my Notion app. I asked my brother (he’s a tech wiz!) for help with that, and we even started brainstorming about a newsletter or other way to share updates with subscribers (form to subscribe at the bottom of each page). We have fun bouncing ideas as sibling besties.
Telemed Appointment: I had my follow-up for surgery #1 (the arthroscopic labrum repair and femoroplasty). I was hoping for clear answers, but the appointment was with a PA I hadn’t met before who wasn’t familiar with my history. Much of the visit ended up being me explaining it.
From her perspective, there’s nothing unusual about my current pain or the nerve pain that started with PT. She advised me to keep up with pain meds and avoid any exercises that increase pain. She also noted they usually don’t have patients start PT until after weight-bearing restrictions are lifted from the PAO, but that would mean waiting 8 weeks — while the PAO team wants me in PT now.
She also wanted imaging at this follow-up, which hadn’t been coordinated with my Taos Ortho doctor. I had thought he and my Colorado surgeons would have synced on my care, but that never happened. Another reminder that I need to advocate for myself and make sure the pieces connect.
I had different hopes for how the two surgical teams would coordinate my recovery, but it seems they work closely together for the surgery itself and less so for rehab. Add in my local Taos doctor not linking up with them either, and it feels like a classic case of the poor communication I’ve so often seen in healthcare.
It’s frustrating, but also clarifying (once again) — I can’t assume providers are talking to each other, so my role has to be the thread that ties them together.
Movement & Progress: I’m trying to build in more activity. Today I did a lap around the house first thing out of bed, stayed up and moving for about an hour after my telemed appointment, and even had dinner at the table in the living room. I practiced carrying things in my backpack and even unpacked and organized a few lingering bags — progress!
That said, I still struggle to stay comfortable outside the bedroom. I don’t have supports set up elsewhere, and since I can’t carry things myself, bed remains my safest primary spot. Pain escalates much faster when I’m not able to lay down at a moment’s notice.
It feels strange that ‘venturing into the living room’ is an achievement — but right now, it truly is.
Self-Sufficiency Practice: Patrick was out from about 9 to 1, giving me a chance to practice being on my own. I yearn for more independence. What I haven’t attempted yet is taking the dogs out — especially with Mac the escape artist and our desperate need for a new fence. I’m ashamed to admit I haven’t been in the front or back yards since getting home… but I know if I can figure out a safe way, that will bring me joy.
Wedding Prep Concerns: When Patrick got home, he prepped my lunch and we had a heart-to-heart. We have a dear friend’s wedding on Saturday and are both nervous about how it will go. I can’t walk far and have to be extremely mindful of each step. Celebrating with friends while managing that feels daunting.
Patrick kindly, at my request, stopped by the venue to scope things out. The walk from parking to ceremony is about 100 yards, but the site is ADA accessible and has wheelchairs available. I don’t love the idea of using one, but it could solve some of the logistical challenges. The bigger issue is that I’m not comfortable for long in standard chairs with my hips and knees at 90 degrees. So, a wheelchair doesn’t help on that front.
Lots to think about — I’m glad for another PT session tomorrow before making decisions.
It’s hard to balance wanting to celebrate people I love with honoring my own healing.
Evening Calm: I finally got my new cross stitch project set up — so excited to be back at it! Listening to my audiobook while stitching brought a welcome peace and calm.
We ended the day with another delicious dinner and quiet evening. Still, all the wedding logistics and the possibility of needing to stay home have me feeling a little blue tonight. I’m reminding myself that taking care of myself is never the wrong choice, even when it means missing out… again and again.
These have been some rough days with bright spots along the way, of course.
PT: I’m so happy to be going to PT twice a week — I really love the team there. Even though I can’t do much yet due to my many restrictions, they want me to come in to practice the few safe things I can do, some of which they’d prefer I not attempt at home until I’m stronger and more stable. They also add gentle tissue work, and as the head PT put it: “I just wouldn’t be comfortable with you being away for so long.” That sure made me feel seen and cared for. It’s such a relief to feel heard here, especially since I’m struggling with that at some of my other providers’ offices.
Pain Management: Wow. I’ve never had such a hard time managing pain at home. This feels like the most difficult pain I’ve ever had to navigate outside of a hospital. After the accident, at my worst moments, I was in the hospital under 24/7 care. Now we’re trying to handle extreme pain levels and intense restrictions at home.
My understanding was that it was okay to continue the pain program I was discharged on: oxy as primary, tramadol for breakthrough pain, muscle relaxers, and Tylenol. I’ve kept this level because the pain has been extreme, though slowly improving, and I’ve had near-daily demands (moving home, unpacking, appointments). I’ve had difficult inner dialogues — and real ones with providers — about how I “need” to taper off oxy as soon as possible. With my current pain, it’s scary.
This has stirred up shame and “shoulds” — negative self-talk that I’m grateful to snap out of with the help of people who see and hear me. My pain keeps shifting in quality and location, sometimes subtly, sometimes drastically, but the level hasn’t decreased. That part is scary.
I’m learning that pain management isn’t just physical — it stirs up fear, shame, and old stories I have to keep rewriting.
Advocacy: My transition home has brought quality-of-care concerns and so much mental/emotional labor in figuring out how to handle them. There are many moving parts to coordinate, and I deserve attentive, safe care where I won’t fall through the cracks.
Thankfully, I have an incredible community of trusted local providers to lean on, but the toll of constant advocacy is heavy. I feel frustrated and sad, but I also trust it will work out.
Lesson: Even with a great community, it takes persistence to ensure care is coordinated. Advocacy is exhausting — but it’s how I keep myself safe.
Balance: I canceled a few appointments this week because my system simply couldn’t handle more input. I want to reconnect with my trusted local providers, but right now I can’t do more than one obligation a day. For now, I’m focusing on rest and letting my system settle. We will see how this weekend unfolds and I’ll go day by day next week; I’m grateful to my providers for understanding this need and remaining flexible as I heal.
A blessing: my PT will be able to handle wound care and staple removal from surgery #2 on Monday, saving me an extra appointment while my ortho doctor is out of town.
I even took a 3.5-hour nap yesterday, which helped distract from the pain and gave me a natural gap between meds. At night I’ve reduced alarms so I only wake once, at 4 am, and so far it’s manageable. Sleep is golden.
I’m slowly learning that fewer inputs can equal more healing.
New Worry: At the end of last year, I had an exposed facial plate moving into my nasal passage — it caused a horrible smell and discharge until surgery to remove it. I fear it may be happening again. I’ve reached out to a provider who helped me last time but haven’t heard back yet, and I’m considering contacting another. With it being the weekend, I’m left waiting, which stirs up questions of self-worth and whether I’m “a bother.”
Wedding Decision: After much thought — and with my PT’s strong advice — we decided not to attend my dear friend’s wedding tomorrow. Between severe pain, limited mobility, and rising anxiety for both Patrick and me, it became clear it wasn’t realistic. It hurts my heart, though, to keep missing important moments. Almost three years of recovery has meant so many losses like this.
Choosing my health doesn’t mean I don’t love my people. It just means I want to be here for them in the long run — and back at it sooner than if I didn’t prioritize my health.
Bright Spots: Amid all of this, there have been moments of light:
Sweet puppies by my side.
A friend visiting this morning with a latte and muffins — such a bright spot! And a wonderful distraction from pain for an hour.
Sitting outside on the back porch, soaking in our amazing view.
Constantly delicious meals from Patrick, who I love seeing find enjoyment and calm in the kitchen (and I love reaping the rewards).
A group text with my mom and brother, with lots of daily activity.
Love from friends and family through texts and voicemails — thank you all for thinking of me and for your patience when I take time to reply.
Tomorrow, Patrick and I plan a front yard/garden tour, hopefully timed with meds so we can enjoy it without crisis.
This week: slowly resume regular weekly appointments with Taos providers as able
8/23: Friends’ Wedding in Taos
8/26: Telemed post-op appointment with Denver PAO Hip Surgeon
8/31-9/2: College Friend Visit!
